I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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