I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
