I hate all girls vehemently.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
