dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
