When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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