Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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