dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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