Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
there is puke in my bra ... again
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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