i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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