I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
