it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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