if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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