so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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