He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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