I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im holly from the hills drunk
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
