singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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