My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
