i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
