yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
