my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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