I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
