I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
