I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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