I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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