What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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