The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
