Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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