On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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