Swine flu. Run for my life!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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