so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
