Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (101829) Bad night (6082)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.

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  (907): she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit. http://tfl.nu/38x3
  Replies (31) Good night (733) Bad night (5169)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup

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  (508): i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup http://tfl.nu/58kh
  Replies (11) Good night (1074) Bad night (4419)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

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  (516): The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right. http://tfl.nu/nc3r
  Replies (14) Good night (4163) Bad night (949)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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  (845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol
  Replies (12) Good night (1180) Bad night (4000)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.

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  (952): I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing. http://tfl.nu/jvox
  Replies (25) Good night (1625) Bad night (3543)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.

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  (310): Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting. http://tfl.nu/us8p
  Replies (4) Good night (1135) Bad night (539)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work

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  (614): do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work http://tfl.nu/2knt
  Replies (6) Good night (1195) Bad night (546)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.

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  (919): When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs. http://tfl.nu/7b1r
  Replies (6) Good night (1531) Bad night (550)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.

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  (205): i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets. http://tfl.nu/hykz
  Replies (3) Good night (1121) Bad night (480)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.

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  (502): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true. http://tfl.nu/qsda
  Replies (8) Good night (2435) Bad night (437)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea

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  (250): He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea http://tfl.nu/7hkj
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (285)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.

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  (404): Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/ye3d
  Replies (5) Good night (505) Bad night (330)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of

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  (404): How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of http://tfl.nu/yhrq
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (385)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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  (678): If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure http://tfl.nu/x8g2
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (204)

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