Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Are you okay?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

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  (908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1
  Replies (19) Good night (3320) Bad night (690)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I GOT MY PERIOD!

  (706): View more from Georgia

  damn. i had names picked out.

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  (706): I GOT MY PERIOD! (706): damn. i had names picked out. http://tfl.nu/tcr6
  Replies (18) Good night (7283) Bad night (1077)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back

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  (440): You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back http://tfl.nu/ciqo
  Replies (24) Good night (4926) Bad night (905)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?

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  (303): At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea? http://tfl.nu/yszl
  Replies (6) Good night (3297) Bad night (961)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.

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  (440): I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues. http://tfl.nu/ej4i
  Replies (5) Good night (2875) Bad night (1139)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.

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  (317): that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead. http://tfl.nu/rwpy
  Replies (5) Good night (958) Bad night (1953)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?

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  (402): Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this? http://tfl.nu/pyyb
  Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (608)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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  (304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed
  Replies (6) Good night (2569) Bad night (711)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.

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  (412): I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call. http://tfl.nu/5iup
  Replies (17) Good night (2674) Bad night (638)
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  (707): View more from California

  I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.

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  (707): I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist. http://tfl.nu/o2an
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (953)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!

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  (918): Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party! http://tfl.nu/yohs
  Replies (4) Good night (1835) Bad night (540)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.

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  (304): All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time. http://tfl.nu/z2dh
  Replies (0) Good night (817) Bad night (419)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.

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  (803): Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face. http://tfl.nu/i1ol
  Replies (7) Good night (689) Bad night (321)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego

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  (413): The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego http://tfl.nu/wcwo
  Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (252)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you win. again.

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  (651): My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night (1-651): i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning (651): you win. again. http://tfl.nu/icl2
  Replies (1) Good night (805) Bad night (258)

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