the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.