well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
