Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...