i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
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Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.