hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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