I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
