You smell like a Billy Joel song
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
