Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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