WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it because I queefed?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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