Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
