Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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