Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
