You can't motorboat a personality
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
