YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
