stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
