The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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