Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
MIDGETS
????
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
