you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Found the puke drawer
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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