Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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