At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
