TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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