what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
