trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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