So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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