You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
how drunk are you?
Several
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
