Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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