Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
