i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
