what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
