i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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